Virtual Diary

You, come and go so easily. I wanna be just like you, feel nothing. I wonder, I always wonder, do I ever cross your mind? do you ever think about me? do you ever feel anxious if i'm not with you? do you ever feel the butterflies if i'm around you? do you ever feel all those things? I don't think so. I'm the one who always fell that feelings. That's sucks, you know? The way you kiss me, the way you look at me, the way you pull me in, I wanna feel that again over and over again. Those butterflies are still linger on me until now, and i feel so overwhelming. It hurts me every time you roll those eyes away for me, It hurts every time you build your wall between us. But you always around me at that time when i just wanna stop this, you always show up. what do you want? I can never understand what exactly do you want for me. Just please, tell me.

I've meet this person since I was a kid. He is nice looking kinda guy. He is smart and also funny, but sometimes kinda sarcastic. But I like it that way. His brown eyes, always gives me butterflies. His smile makes my heart skip a beat. But, now.... Everything has changed. They say people never change, but that's bullshit, cause he change. He doesn't care about my existence anymore. His brown eyes, always turn away from mine. His smile, all I can feel only anxiety of losing you. Now my anxiety become reality, my fantasy of you has collapsed. I can't handle the reality, I can't handle if I should lose you. But now, I already lose you.

You think that your life is up and down? Turns out you stuck in the infinite loop of fantasy The more you enjoy the ride, the more you can't escape It's not that easy to stop it, Unless you jump out of it, and that's gonna hurt. That's why I hate carousel, its like you stuck in your fantasy over and over again, leave the reality, never get up.