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what do you want?

You, come and go so easily. I wanna be just like you, feel nothing. I wonder, I always wonder, do I ever cross your mind? do you ever think about me? do you ever feel anxious if i'm not with you? do you ever feel the butterflies if i'm around you? do you ever feel all those things? I don't think so. I'm the one who always fell that feelings. That's sucks, you know? The way you kiss me, the way you look at me, the way you pull me in, I wanna feel that again over and over again. Those butterflies are still linger on me until now, and i feel so overwhelming. It hurts me every time you roll those eyes away for me, It hurts every time you build your wall between us. But you always around me at that time when i just wanna stop this, you always show up. what do you want? I can never understand what exactly do you want for me. Just please, tell me.
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you've changed.

I've meet this person since I was a kid. He is nice looking kinda guy. He is smart and also funny, but sometimes kinda sarcastic. But I like it that way. His brown eyes, always gives me butterflies. His smile makes my heart skip a beat. But, now.... Everything has changed. They say people never change, but that's bullshit, cause he change. He doesn't care about my existence anymore. His brown eyes, always turn away from mine. His smile, all I can feel only anxiety of losing you. Now my anxiety become reality, my fantasy of you has collapsed. I can't handle the reality, I can't handle if I should lose you. But now, I already lose you.

Carousel

You think that your life is up and down? Turns out you stuck in the infinite loop of fantasy The more you enjoy the ride, the more you can't escape It's not that easy to stop it, Unless you jump out of it, and that's gonna hurt. That's why I hate carousel, its like you stuck in your fantasy over and over again, leave the reality, never get up.

R we controlling YouTube or controlled by YouTube?

Suatu hari, saya sedang asyik menonton video di YouTube, tiba-tiba terbelesit dipikiran saya, "Lho, kok gue nonton YouTube seharian ya?" Pertanyaan simple tapi entah mengapa terus menerus nempel di pikiran saya.   Bagi pecinta YouTube, pasti Anda tanpa sadar meluangkan waktu yang, well..bisa dianggap 'berharga' itu untuk menonton YouTube, berjam-jam, seharian, bahkan berhari-hari. Hari-hari malas Anda hanya dihabiskan di depan layar hanya untuk menonton 'teater' digital yang bernama YouTube. Video musik, trailer film, iklan, hingga video kucing berdansa pun semuanya Anda tonton.  Namun pernahkah Anda berfikir mengapa Anda melakukan itu semua? Pernahkan Anda berfikir mengapa Anda dapat terus-menerus menonton YouTube seharian, tiada henti tanpa merasa jenuh? Atau mungkin yang lebih absurd lagi, pernahkah Anda berfikir bahwa sesungguhnya bukan kitalah (re: penggunanya) yang mengontrol YouTube, tapi justru YouTube-lah yang mengontrol kita untuk terus-menerus...

Newbie is coming to town ~

once upon a time a mindless girl try to blogging...........:/ Helloo! and welcome to the first edition of my blog. Well..setelah seribu tahun lamanya, saya baru ada kepikiran untuk membuat blog sendiri. Tapi tak apalah lebih baik telat dibanding tidak sama sekali.  So, I am a member of blog community, now what???????? err....btw blog ini akan ngebahas segala macam pikiran saya yg lumayan absurd, BUT iit's worth it to read (or not?well I don't know - you decide)